Welcome A.K.A. Slap and Tickle
Hey folks, Matt here. I’m one of the jerks running this shitfest known as SteveAndMattAreJerks.com. Let me start off by saying Steve and I aren’t always jerks, but, well, we are more often than not. Let’s just say most of our conversations should not be unveiled to the public eye. And yet they will. Constantly. Until someone forces us to stop. My guess is one of the following groups will request our imminent end: the ACLU, PETA, or Women’s Lib. And NAMBLA, because we give them a really bad name with our shenanigans. Let’s just say I can’t take Steve to shopping malls without a cattle prod. In all fairness, the mall is indeed a “buffet table” for sexual predators and child molesters, for which Steve doubly qualifies.
Anyway, welcome. Common consensus suggests you liked your introduction video, so we will be giving birth to a second clip very soon, amniotic fluid and all. Keep your effing pants on. Or don’t, if you happen to be attractive and female.
On a side note, as many of my friends and family know, I am very excited for the new Indiana Jones feature, as I am a mega-geek. And a lot of people have been giving Harry F. (that’s what those of us in Harrison’s inner circle call him — I mean, he is very chill, look at that earring he has, totally ghetto) a lot of shit for being too old for the part. I personally think that’s a bunch of ballyhoo, hogwash, and straight up jibberjabber as the eloquent Mr. T might say. But occasionally, our faith can be shaken. Take this photo from the recent trailer.
Come on. He looks ready to rock and roll. He kinda looks like my dad when he gets all huffy about losing his keys for five minutes.
Does anyone else think he looks like a mix between these two guys?
And those two guys don’t look old at all. I mean, Jimmy Durante’s dead, so that totally shouldn’t count.
-Matt 3 years ago
